One Crazy Night
by DarkJediJade
Summary: Quick one shot, involving Mara, Mirax, Leia, etc getting drunk together and the craziness which ensues.


_A/N: Reading JediMara77's story inspired this. I've never done much writing of Mirax, but in reading her fic a plot bunny hopped into my mind so I ran with it. I'd had in mind to do a Mara getting drunk story for a bit, and this gave me the push to do it. Writing drunken antics is fun. Also… there are some bad BAD puns in here that came up while I was drinking with some friends and discussing Star Wars and how many innuendoes you can make from various things in it. Some of them were too funny (if awful) not to include. I'll admit half the reason I wrote this was an excuse to use them, since I was challenged to work them all into one fic. Are you happy now? You know who you are. :p Silly one shot, but I hope you enjoy. :)_

In retrospect it had probably been a bad idea. Fun, but a bad idea none the less. After Luke's initial mortification when he saw the holos of what went down, he'd enjoyed having this particular bit of craziness to hold over my head for once. I'm getting ahead of myself though. Let me explain how this all started.

Leia had just been reelected Chief of State and Mirax had proposed since our husbands had gone out for a boys night, which Luke to his credit was a bit leery about- as well he should be with the most notable scoundrels in the galaxy… we should have a girls night. I'm not one for sharing sappy emotions, mud masks and pillow fights, but since this was Mirax planning it… and our last girls night had ended with us crushing a pro smoshball team, I agreed to go along with it. As I did Mirax gave me a wink. Oh that can't be good. Well at least I know with her I'll be well fortified for whatever she has planned. Leia is looking at her skeptically too and reminding her she is Chief of State and has a reputation to uphold. "Like my husband Leia, who is off with your husband who got him into a bar fight the last time they were out for a boys night?" I reminded her. Leia laughed hard. I still can't believe I'm a part of this family… I have a husband. Luke kriffing Skywalker is my husband. It's still kinda surreal at times. Anyways… Mirax had given us all directions to a "new place she'd found" somewhere on the lower levels of Coruscant. Oh this was my kind of party alright. Leia had started to protest but I told her we could disguise her… and he'd have the former Emperor's Hand, guarding her back. "Come on Leia" I goaded her "I could stand down Vader when he got homicidal with me. There is nothing I can't handle on Coruscant." Leia had looked surprised at that.

"You stood down Vader?" she asked startled. I nodded.

"Uh yeah, when he was first hunting for Luke. At times his hunt and my missions would overlap and he really _really_ didn't like that." I told her. "He got kinda homicidal. Trashed his office on the Executor trying to take me out. We ended up duelling briefly til I used his sensors against him long enough to get out of strike range and let him cool off long enough to realize Palpatine would be _very_ unhappy with him if he killed me… and Palpatine was someone not even Vader wanted to piss off." The women around me are all giving a look of respect to me. Shrugging it off I tell them "Not like I had a choice. An angry Sith Lord is taking a swing at you, you either defend yourself or you're dead. I never went on the offence, just defended."

"But still… you duelled Vader and lived- with all your limbs intact!" Leia said "Even my Jedi Master brother can't claim that."

"Your brother also didn't grow up with combat training against Imperial Guards. Force pikes kriffing hurt." I grumbled. "Anyways, I only walked away because I knew his sensors would take a minute to adjust to change in light."

"Does Luke know about this?" Mirax pressed. Oh why had I opened my mouth about this?

"No. My husband has enough of a complex without knowing his wife faired better in a duel against his father then he did when she was barely eighteen" I grumble and before Leia can say anything I poke her in the shoulder "And don't you _dare_ tell your brother. If I hear Luke whining about this… I know many things I could tell Han… or Corran" I add giving a sharp look at Mirax. They know I'm not bluffing either. I still have more then enough sway with Karrde to get all kinds of info they'd rather their husbands not hear… not to mention my bacherloette party. Unlike the others, I'm not too worried about being implicated in that.

"Ok, so tonight ladies! I'll let Tendra, Iella and Tionne know, Leia you tell Winter, and Mara you can bring Shada." Mirax interrupted my plotting. And that was how we ended up in one of Coruscant's seediest bars and where things started to go downhill.

We got into some crazy drinking games. I won most against my fellow ladies and a few patrons of the bar who dared challenge me. Bonus of having worked in assorted tap cafes, bars and cantinas following the Emperor's death… not to mention a few undercover missions. I was good at these games. Poor Leia on the other hand definitely was not. She'd lost every round but one of credit bounce, and was struggling to stay in her seat. Mirax and I had wedged her between us as she'd tilt from one side to the other and we didn't really want to have her fall. Nodding to Mirax I suggested we move the party back to my apartment, before Leia did something she truly regretted as she was suggesting a round of strip sabbac. I was the only one without kids so my place made the most sense. Luke wouldn't be back for several hours at least… hopefully enough time to sober Leia up a bit. Kriff, when did I get so responsible? My husband was apparently rubbing off on me.

Of course sobering up as not what happened. Mirax and Iella had produced several bottles of Whyrens and told me I wasn't drunk enough. It was true. I was the only member of the group not staggering. I'd debated pointing out one of us should probably stay soberish… but they were daring me to try down a whole bottle, and my brain balked at being so calm and responsible so I caved. Apparently after that we managed to finish all four bottles between us, as well as break into my stash of Corellian brandy before we all passed out. This wouldn't of been so bad if not for how and where we passed out… and the holos that were taken during that time.

From what we could piece together after Leia's terrified screams woke me up, at some point during the night Leia's clothes had ended up on the chandelier… and mine were in the shower. Apparently we played strip sabbac after all, and a fairly rowdy version of it at that. Mirax had her pants on her head, still sleeping off the hangover, mumbling something about being a Twi'lek dancer. Laughing I'd grabbed the holo cam off the table to record a video, but the memory beeped full after only a minute. Looking at the cam confused, I wondered why. I'd just cleared it this morning so… oh kriff. Apparently we'd taken holos of our madness. Well might as well see how bad it is I decided… but first caffe. Stepping carefully over Mirax I made my way to the kitchen to start brewing some. As the brew finished the rest of the women slowly woke up and made their way to the kitchen, Tendra grumbling about how kriffing bright it was. Once we were all fortified with a few cups of caffe and the worst of the hangover worn off I held up the holo cam. "So, who wants to know what we got up to last night?" I ask the group. There is a hesitation- especially Leia. Can't say I blame her. Of all of us she probably fared the worst. I'm used to waking up in strange places or compromising positions. Leia definitely isn't, and especially not with her brother's wife. "Don't worry, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems." I assure her, hoping that's true.

"What's not as bad?" Iella asked.

"Uh, Leia and I woke up naked together." Leia looked mortified and Mirax hooted.

"Your husbands are gonna love this!" I gave Mirax a hard shove and a glare at that.

"You're one to speak Miss Twi'lek dancer." I jab her. "Besides I think we were playing strip sabacc and passed out. Least I remember Leia asking to play it."

"And no doubt losing badly… but what happened to _your_ clothes Emperor's Hand? You don't lose." Iella pointed out.

"Maybe I felt bad for her?" I suggest, though I'm a little less sure about seeing these holos now myself.

"You know I always wondered at that title…" Mirax trailed off before regaining focus "Was it because the Emperor liked to… _use his Hand_" I stared at her, slack jawed for a moment. Giving her another hard shove I sent her crashing to the floor.

"Ew, no. Force no! Ew ew ew! You are _awful_ Mirax!" I grumble. "The man was 65 years my senior, and I was a teenager most of the time serving as Emperor's Hand" I point out, scowling.

"Didn't stop Roganda any." Leia chimed in and I glared at her. "Memory serves she was only what? A few years older then you? And she chased Palpatine down."

"So did Isard." Mirax piped up. I resisted the urge to use my holdout blaster to stun the pair just to get them to shut up. "So was he using force enhancement or did those wrinkles just fit _just right_?" she asked winking. Burying my face in my hands I shook my head. I couldn't do much for the moment to get revenge on Mirax, but I sent Leia a nice detailed mental image of a nude Palpatine for her part in jibing me. Leia screamed and fell out of her chair, landing half on Mirax who gave an ooph.

"Mara!" Leia yelled "That was awful!"

"What was?" Mirax asked as they untangled themselves. Ah shavit! I did not make my case any better.

"Mara sent me an image of Palpatine… sooo many wrinkles!" Leia said and Mirax caught my eye. Yup, I was not going to live this one down.

"And just how would Mara know that unless…" I waved a hand at her.

"I have a good imagination is all." I told her and realized just how horribly wrong that came out.

"Oh so you _admit_ to imagining Palpatine naked. Does Luke know about this? Maybe you picture him as-" I waved at her to shut up as my danger sense flared but it was too late. Kriffing force enhanced hearing.

"Imagining me as Palpatine Mara? I'm hurt." Luke said teasingly. I shot him a death glare and debated fulfilling my last command anyways. Picking up on my thoughts Luke shook his head at me "Ah ah now Mara. That's the Dark Side." Deciding to get a little revenge at his expense I grinned wickedly.

"Funny, you didn't protest the other night at my, ah, novel applications of force lighting." I say with a wink. He turns red and starts stammering at that.

"Mara! Not in front of my sister!" he said mortified, but Leia was laughing her ass off, until Mirax piped up.

"Oh don't worry Luke, I'm sure it's nothing _shocking_ for your sister after last night…" she said and I glared at her and waved frantically to shut her up, but it was too late.

"Mara, what is she talking about?" he asked.

"Um, strip sabacc?" I said a tad too quickly. Luke looked between me, Leia and the holo cam on the counter.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked. I sighed.

"Truth be told none of us remember what happened after the second or third bottle." I admitted. "We were going to look at the holos and try figure it out." Luke picked up the cam and grinned.

"Well if you are that worried, maybe I should see these with you." he said.

"Um, Luke… you did catch the strip sabacc right. You _do_ remember Leia is your sister?" Tionne asked and Luke blushed.

"Wait, how bad _was_ it?" Luke asked.

"Your sister can't play credit bounce or sabacc to save her life" Tendra reminded him.

"Oh" Luke mouthed, flushing. "Ok, maybe you look first and skip any uh, compromising pictures of my sister."

"We ready for this?" Shada asked taking the cam from Luke and holding it up.

"Lets do it." I told her. I heard a whispered "That's what she said" from Mirax and glared.

It was that bad I realized as we flipped through the holos. Apparently at some point I'd proposed a game of spin the bottle. The fact there was no men in the room apparently hadn't deterred me any. Luke had started to rib me about if there was something he should know.. til I pointed out if he finished that sentence he would be calling himself a woman. Strip sabacc did indeed happen and that was as suspected how Leia's clothes ended up hanging from the ceiling. She'd apparently made quite an energetic show of removing each piece and flinging it every round she lost. My clothes had ended up in the shower when I had decided to have one to try sober up… but was apparently not sober enough to figure out _how_ to have one. Based on the pics and vids Mirax had taken I had hopped in the shower, clothes and all. Only once my clothes were soaked did I remove them… and leave them there. I about died when I saw what followed. I'm not sure who shot the vid but there was a holo of Mirax begging me to show her how I danced at Jabba's palace… which I did… badly. Mirax had stuck her pants on her head at that point and joined me dancing while the rest of the group sang and cheered us on. Luke was howling.

"Oh Corran is going to _love_ to see this!" he said.

"You do realize I'm naked in that my dear?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll uh, edit censor blocks in first." he amended. It was mine and Mirax's turn to laugh when the next vid showed a sobbing Shada talking to a pillow.

"Oh Talon- why don't you love me? I just want to make sweet sweet loooove to you!" she said, then proceeded to kiss the pillow. Poor Shada was about twenty shades of red and looking at me and Mirax. "You aren't going to show that to Karrde are you?" she asked mortified.

"Only because I'm streaking in the background is that vid safe with us." I told her. "But you really should tell him how you feel Shada." It became obvious Iella, Tionne and Tendra had done most of the vid and holo taking since they were in very little of it… though at some point Tendra had grabbed my lightsaber and held it suggestively while using it to slash through various items Tionne threw at her… including my pillow apparently. Well that explained the burnt feathers everywhere. I was beginning to wonder if Iella had avoided doing anything too insane, besides playing spin the bottle with me. The next holo however showed her hanging upside down from the chandelier. How that fixture had survived the night was anyones guess. As we flipped through the next few holos it became a small wonder the apartment was still standing. Apparently we had tried to make s'mores using my blaster, my lightsaber and apparently force lighting? My joking with Luke aside I didn't know I actually knew how to do that. I'm sure I'm going to get a lecture later about that being the dark side, blah blah blah. Luke raised his eyebrow at me and I realized he'd heard my thoughts through our force bond._ "Kriff you Skywalker"_ I sent him.

_"Oh I plan to later." _Luke responded in my mind grinning wickedly. I just glared at him. We finally reached the end of the holos. We all looked at each other.

"We really should delete these." Tionne said.

"We really should." I agreed, preparing to push the erase button.

"Oh Force no!" Luke said, grabbing the holo cam from me. "You have Karrde and plenty of proof of my less then glamourous moments. We are so keeping these!" Apparently considering the content and my raised eyebrow Luke decided to clarify "Under the strictest confidentiality of course." I glared at him, but I wasn't all that mad. It was kinda nice to have a momento of our moment of insanity, since we really had no holos of my bachlorette party.

"Fine fine. We'll keep them." I sigh. "Sans the ones of your sister. She can keep those."

"Agreed" Luke said as I handed the holo cam to Leia to sort out the pics. Yup, Luke can say all he wants about how wild Rogue Squadron parties are. They've got nothing on us! Maybe we should call ourselves the Rouge Squadron?

Anyways, that's how it happened


End file.
